Wednesday, July 11, 2007

More Unsurprising Instances of Jealousy!

Damn you Hulk Hogan for everything that you did to the Iron Sheik! How dare you use steroids while lying to children with the testosto! Okay, I am kidding. Maybe it's because I am tired of having to talk about Hogan. He's in his multi-million dollar home with his wife and son while his daughter is going out and getting fake titties while attempting to become a pop sensation. Apparently, Brooke's album "Undiscovered" really did tank (Ranked #61,789 on Amazon!, supposedly only sold 60,000 copies in the US!) and her record company SoBe just dropped her ass. I'd provide pictures of her new boobed out titties, but I am pretty bored and there's superior jackoff material elsewhere.

It's apparently true that the National Enquirer did do a story on Warrior being a male prostitute in Georgia. Sheik can talk shit with the best of them is what I think. I used to think rap music was the best form of shittalking, but Eminem may have ruined putdowns forever after hearing his endless, unlistenable songs trashing Mariah Carey and other harmless pop stars.

And at least Sheik never asked for any sympathy. When that dude rapped "Have you ever been hated or discriminated against, I have", I had to roll my eyes. He doesn't make me hate white people or anything, but steering your audience to find sympathy for you when you're the one calling people faggots and shit is kinda fucked up. Eminem can have all the money in the world, but he still has less integrity than our crack-smoking, somewhat homophobic and ring-rat-short-arm-clotheslining Iranian deity.

Hogan definitely did lie on Arsenio Hall. I loved watching Arsenio when I was a kid. The set was great! Arsenio would bring on black guys as guests. The show was the first time that I recognized that Patrick Ewing was a fucking monster. Basketball is the only sport which I can definitely acknowledge as being a freakshow. C'mon, 7-foot motherfuckers running up and down a court to put a ball through a god-damn hoop. Maybe someone will call me a racist.

No, it's okay. Really.

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