Wednesday, July 25, 2007

The Camel Clutch

This move might be really awesome because Our Hero did it and other people [or as every black person seems to call them "niggas"] that also get respect like Gori Guerrero and the Original Sheik and the homie, Sgt. Slaughter.

But you've gotta face facts sometimes. Sheik even admitted it when made those threats against Brian Blair. I know it's hard to come to terms with this. Sleepless nights, huh? Unable to grasp the fact even after all these long and cruel months? Did you lack of hunger turn into a full-fledged protest? It's okay, but I understand. But let's get through the cold, hard facts.

The camel clutch is really fucking gay.

But it definitely looks like it hurts. Like, damn, you could really hurt someone's back doing it. Even if Sheik really did put Jim Brunzell in the clutch, I'm sure he's fantasized about Brian Blair and his ass as many times as he's said it on video. That definitely seems kinda scary.

Apparently, the Japanese have taken advantage of this rather uncomfortable position by flipping the script in almost-pornographic nature. Maybe they invented apartment wrestling, too. Maybe that's where legendary slant-eyed women like, um, that scary lady from GLOW who also did that one episode of Married with Children got trained. I don't know her name but I'm sure some creepy Asian-women-fighting enthusiast will tell me who she is in 17 months.

So I've decided to make a drawing in order for this blog's vastly wrestling-intelligent [and real-world-weary] audience to tell me who this is. Please, look at this with an open mind because I tried my best. Thanks!

Anyways, here's some Japanese women doing the camel clutch. Not Safe For Wife. And it is really strange, too.

When Gori Guerrero created this move, did he ever think that bikini-clad and no-ass-having psuedo-pornstars with unusually-positioned eyes would be performing it for the pleasure of dudes who like seeing women uncomfortably grab onto each other? I don't know, but I think he should have been given at least a quarter for everytime someone has performs it. Even if it's for creepy Japanese apartment wrestling aficionados.

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