Friday, September 28, 2007

Holy Shit it's Friday

Fridays are always awesome. Like, growing up, all I wanted was for Friday to come. That way I didn't have to think about faggot-ass teachers, asshole classmates, stupid homework that didn't really help you learn anything in the end or whatever the fuck else was going on back in those days.

I hope you're just as excited as I am today. I don't have to deal with co-workers, taking mass transit during rush hour or have to worry about anything involving what I do to make a living. And that's fucking great.

Some dude made his own song about the Iron Sheik. I watched this about 20 minutes before leaving for work, so I've forgotten the lyrics and all that other shit. I know that I thought it was kinda funny. Seriously, when people are making songs about you, then what the fuck? I want someone to make a song about me. They can call it, "The Lazy Blogger Who Eats Too Many Potato Chips". Or maybe not. Whatever. Watch the video and let me know what you think about it!

THE IRON SHEIK YOUTUBE REVIEW JAM OF THE WEEK: Dr. Dre featuring Snoop - "Deep Cover". This is awesome. The beat is great and Snoop wrote some great lyrics for Dre to spit. That chorus makes motherfuckers want to kill some pigs. Not that I am advocating the killing of anything, especially not farm animals. But damn, this song is tougher than anything that any of these wack-ass ringtone rappers are putting out these days.

Have a great weekend.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Fuck Denver

I can't believe the week is almost over. And I can't believe that I have gotten positive feedback from Allah, Buddha, Jehovah and Buddy Wayne, so things can't be that bad, right? Anyhow, I shall review as much as an internet reviewer can review, if only to please people who need to know what's up with Sheiky Baby (or is it Baba)?

These are clips of Sheik and Honky Tonk outside of some place in Denver where people watched Summerslam. Did I watch Summerslam? Hmm, I think I did. Yeah, I did. Oh, right, this is promoted by those Pleasures Dudes faggots. Honestly, is there any real reason that anybody would want to visit Denver? Hell, I'd want to get the fuck out and apparently, so do these guys. The limo driver isn't here yet and Sheik is pissed because he wants to go home. He doesn't seem to want to talk to fans about Gholamreza Takhti, Imam-Ali Habibi or any other lesser-known Iranian amateur wrestlers. He just wants to go home. Oh yeah, Honky Tonk Man is here, too. He sure does need a haircut. The videos cut out like halfway for all three of these clips. Don't blame me if it doesn't work, assholes.

If anything, it's hilarious to see how uncomfortable Honky Tonk is. He really looks like he wants to go home and doesn't really want to talk to fans since he's already made his appearance and just wants to go to bed and hopefully go home and see his wife and kids. Honky even offers to drive the limo himself. Sheik just seems so irritated at these loud-ass whiteboys yelling at him.

Eventually, the driver comes out and the two legends finally get to leave. They have no more time for the marks, but the footage lives on forever as long as there is an internet.

Iron Shiek 2

Iron Sheik 3

Iron Sheik in Denver 1

Iron Sheik in Denver 2

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

What Else To Say?

I will hopefully be doing something that is much more worthwhile than trying to e-mail the Magen Brothers and get nowhere. But things are getting better as far as the blog goes. I can only hope that they get better. Maybe I'll interview more people for the blog and am able to get Meltzer writing about how awesome I am. Then I can retire with internet money like the ScoopsCentral guy did. Then I can start drinking more highly priced red wine and maybe write a book on how to make money off your blog. Eventually, it would all lead to having my own talk show like that dude Greg Behrendt. It would probably fail, but I would make sure to have a lot of midgets on the show like the "Little People, Big World" family.

Also, the Iron Sheik and his entire family. And lots of Klansmen on the show. And the oddly-clothed Black Israelites that preach on either 42nd Street and, more recently, 34th Street in Manhattan. On the same show.

A man has dreams. Make them happen, people.

Sheik lets us all know that he loves pot and that he caught in New Jersey with Hacksaw Jim Duggan with the cocaine, marijuana and an open can of beer. Duggan has since been very sorry for this incident, but Sheik doesn't appear to even blame himself too much. It might be a shame, but it's probably hopeless to try and make this guy think completely different at his current age.

Like I was at Times Square once and a guy had a "I Need A Beer" sign. Sure, I was all dressed up nice and shit, but I also felt that if a guy needs to go through the trouble to make a sign pleading for money to buy a beer, then the least I can do is give him the money. I feel sorry for heroin addicts and cokeheads, too, but I hope the percentage of the readers that dabble in that shit ask someone else for a hookup.

Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that he's not in my family on some A&E Intervention shit, so why get emotional about it, right?

The guy below gets really emotional and it's just weird. Anybody who willingly videotapes themselves talking just to upload onto Youtube for an audience of more than just their close friends and family is a real weirdo. But here I am blogging for people. I don't know; typing shit seems a lot less gay than doing what that "Leave Britney Alone" tranny does.

So this guy decides to apologize to the Iron Sheik because he made a video where impersonated him as the Brass Sultan. See, I feel robbed because I've never seen this impression. Like it probably wasn't that great even though he says that impersonating is his forte. I dig that he makes this whole Christian spiel while wearing a fucking UFC cap. If you can't deal with the exploitation of people, then don't be ridiculous enough to watch pro wrestling, Ultimate fighting or boxing. People are paying money to see guys either beat the hell out of each other, take risks with their own body and/or try to hurt another guy to a point of no return. Now, exploitation isn't something I'm not completely fond of, but I got at an early age that this world is a place where people make other people do some pretty questionable shit. In closing, it's a cruel world, get over it.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Start Your Week Off With Sheik

Please, folks: don't talk when the Iron Sheik is talking. It's something that I've had to learn to deal with all my life. Someone's always gotta fucking butt in my conversations and I just let it slide. But Sheiky Baby? No way. He's not going to let you get away with anything if you start having a side conversation when he's the one that's supposed to get the camera time. It's awfully rude, you know? Mrs. Ramirez had a banner in my second grade class saying, "SILENCE IS GOLDEN". Learn, assholes.

This is some fat kid impersonating the Iron Sheik while reviewing TNA's Hard Justice. I think this is over 8 minutes of a waste of your time, but it's not even a hilarious waste of time. Like, dude, if you're gonna entertain me, then please shave your head and grow a custom Iranian moustache. No, I didn't watch all of this either. This kid really needs a girlfriend. Or needs to find some better porn to look at, if only so that it will distract him from making any more videos. The reason why I put shit like this up to review is only because these people intrigue me. The question that always pops into my head when I hear about these internet celebrities is, "what drives people to want to do this in front of a camera?" I can come up with a lot of answers, but I don't think they're good enough to satisfy my question.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Sheiky Baby All Day

First off, much thanks to KaneRobot for putting a link up to my blog in his description of the infamous "Iron Sheik Goes Nuts" video above, which pretty much started Sheikymania throughout the internet. A crowning achievement in my life, let me tell ya.

Sheik wrestles Pistol Pez Whatley here in Jacksonville, Florida, according to what the dude who put this video up says. It's dated in 1992, apparently. This would explain Sheik being jacked up and actually kinda mobile. The announcers are what make this match as they're just hilarious with their accents and commentary, where they spend most of the time just marking out like fans in the crowd. I love this match as much as anything on the Internet. I recommend that all of you watch it and tell your grandchildren about this encounter. So you might have two brain cells and wake up in the morning from your hospital bed and say, "Where am I", but I think the memories of this match should last a lifetime.

Sheik tells us about Dan Mirade and how he's a jabronie. He then compares Mirade to his Jewish friend, Eric Simms. Eric is not a half-and-half, according to Sheik. However, I feel sorry for whatever woman Simms actually claims to be in a relationship with. What woman would allow Simms to stick his cock in her twat? Okay, fine, other than a prostitute?

This is from Manican's encounter with Sheik at Jac Sabboth's collectables store in deepest, darkest Queens. It's so deep into Queens that I refuse to venture out there. Like I'll go as far out as JFK, but only to pick up people from the airport. But leisurely? Never.

Anyways, Sabboth is a promoter of wrestling whose show I ended up going to back like 7 years ago. It's the Low-Ki/Xavier ladder match main event that dorks like me still talk about. I sat behind these two DVDVR guys, Pete and Ray, whether they acknowledge it or not, that is the truth. These guys had a fucking stopwatch and notepad so they could time the matches. After the show, my friends and I went to some diner. By the time I got home, the results of the show (with match times WTF) were already up on the DVDVR messageboard. I'm not gonna call them a bunch of fags, but okay, what a bunch of fags.

Sheik leaves a message for Nikolai on some dude's cellphone. He seems to be loving life in Mani's clips.

I had to put something Nikolai-related here. This is a 10-minute video showing how Nikolai joined the Million Dollar Corporation. I felt bad for Volkoff, but he had to feed his family. I don't remember how the storyline ended, but I do recall many Nikolai squash matches where he would be basically degraded by Dibiase at ringside.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

The Many Adventures of the Iron Sheik

Sheik has been on a rampage lately. He's gonna be back on the Stern show in a few weeks! He's also doing a lot of unusual things lately that could be considered unbecoming of a former WWF World Champion.

Sheik decides to play the board game Clue with someone wearing a Sabu costume. He doesn't really understand the game, but it does remind him of Brian Blair. He notes the kitchen and bathroom in the game, but does not fail to also note that Blair is garbage and also a jew jabronie. Yes, I think it's fair to say that most Jews are jabronies.

If Sheik doesn't get Clue, maybe there's some other games that he could try???

Monopoly is fucking awesome. It'll make you cry like a bitch when you lose all your money, but I prefer the Shrek Junior Monopoly version.

Parcheesi is fucking great. I used to play this all the time when I was a kid with my mom. I liked beating her because it was affirmation that I was a king at board games. Sadly, I was still not very good. In retrospect, I think I was probably a little too competitive.

I think Our Hero could do great at Connect Four. Seriously, anyone can play this game. I have it in my possession just for the chance that I will have to duel with someone. Instead of taking to fisticuffs, just pulling this board game out will solve any and all problems that may have been lingering. Sheik and Blair need to sit down and play a few games. By the end of the game, Blair will practically be begging Sheik to go fuck his wife.

Sheik is here hawking his action figure. Scintillating material, let me tell ya. He's a WWF or WWE champion.

Sheik arm-wrestles the fake Sabu guy (maybe Pablo Marquez from ECW???) and pulls out a gun on the homie! Damn, I didn't know things got that bad that he needed to pull out weaponry on guys. Would he pull out a gun on Scott Norton, who is an arm-wrestling champion? Or better yet, would he pull out a gun on Sylvester Stallone in Over the Top?

Not if his son is on the line. Even if the son looks gayer than Jonathon from Who's the Boss?

I was gonna put a picture of him but I saw some dude's ballsack on the first page of my Google Image Search for "danny pintauro". What the fuck is wrong with your people????

Sheik slits some jabronie's neck with a fake sword during a match in front of a bunch of chairs. This is also tremendous and I support all these videos with the Iron Sheik Youtube Review Stamp of Approval.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Sheik talks about God, His Career and a special appearance by Keith Sweat

Damn, it's Monday already? I did stuff this weekend, like washing a few plates, my slow cooker which filled with maggots over a two-week period because I'm lazy and shit. There was like a whole crew of maggots, which is pretty nasty. They ended up getting killed with Pine Cleaner that I bought over 2 years ago when I actually thought that I'd be washing the floor of this place regularly. Anyways, that was fun.

Oh yeah, I went to the Brooklyn Book Festival, which was filled with a lot of uppity white people who knew a lot about books and poetry and shit. Mad lesbians, too. Not the hot ones, just the short haired ones that looked like Marcy D'arcy from Married with Children. Sheiky Baby knows. He could probably spot a gay from a mile away. But I got some free shit, like a couple of books and pens and a bookbag for my girlfriend's sister. I tried to take another one but the cunt with the cart filled of bags said it was only for kids. Give me a break, yo. Anyhow, I had fun or whatever. I didn't set up a table for Iron Sheik Youtube Review, but maybe next year.

Sheiky Baby talks about God and how Muslims and Christians share the same god. I don't know. I'm not a real big fan of religion. I guess it brings people together, but it's the cause of a lot of bullshit throughout the world. And it's not like the moderates go out of their way to really condemn the dickheads that take it too far. That's why someone's gotta behead that faggot Osama. 'Cause it's not like the Pakis, Afghanis, Saudis or whoever is hiding him is going to go out of their way to actually find him. If he never gets caught, then it puts yet another stamp on the Bush administration, but what do I know? I'm sitting here blogging before getting out of my house to go to work.

This is a shoot interview from back in 2000 for, I believe, Frank Goodman. Yes, another Jew making money off Our Hero. Sheik's very calm and relaxed, which is odd. If this is wrong, then that is unfortunate. Anyhow, Sheik talks a bit about his background. Nothing that I haven't heard before; he had a lot of honors in wrestling from winning a high school championship and an army championship. All praises due to Gholamreza Takhti and Imam-Ali Habibi. He came here because of Alan Rice from the Minnesota Wrestling Club. He takes credit for the United States Olympic team that he helped train. He got started in pro wrestling with Verne Gagne and Billy Robinson and trained with Flair, Brunzell, Patera and somebody else. And he brags for a long time about every title that he's won. I think he's always been nuts, but lately, it's gotten a little too sad for me. I'm hoping to watch and recap more of these videos. I promise nothing, however.

This is the IRON SHEIK YOUTUBE REVIEW OLD SCHOOL JAM OF THE WEEK: Keith Sweat's "Twisted". I love this song and video as I used to watch this on the old school rap show on public access. Much love to Bobby Simmons for reaching out to a stinky brown teenager like me during the weekdays when I used to slack off in high school and shit. Times were crazy, but I don't wanna live those days again. Anyhow, this song is fucking great and I don't care if you don't like black music, you Slayer-listening wrestling fan who hasn't showered in a month and has tied up crack-addled prostitutes in your closet.

Friday, September 14, 2007


Damn it, it's Friday alright and Balls Mahoney still has a job. There must be a God. Or Allah. Or Zoroastran. Whatever, it's amazing. The weekend is upon us as I sit here typing away on this iMac at work and slightly gazing at my pack of Marlboro smooths and bottle of Febreze Farbic Refresher Allergen Reducer. Hearing your co-workers actually doing work as you sit here trying to look busy as you hurriedly change windows when a pair of titties begins to pop up after scrolling through a thread clearly marked "NSFW" is always great. The day-to-day bullshit sucks, but this blog does help to make it go by a little faster.

Sheik hates Ric Flair. The Kurt Angle sweatshirt never gets old. Someone get him some Italian suits. Sheik is Armani would be a great improvement over his current wardrobe. Gays know how to dress like that Tim Gunn nigga. He takes shit too far. I dress in a shitty pair of jeans that I rock for weeks on end before I deem them dirty. Also, some kind of black tee shirt with a logo emblazoned on the front or some shirt that I bought from Old Navy. It doesn't sound like much, but I look a lot better than I did in high school. Adding 30 pounds to get me over 150 pounds didn't hurt either.

Anyhow, Sheik throws out allegations of Flair's drug usage. Decadurabolin! Testostorone! Damn, yo.

He also calls Linda McMahon beautiful, but he might have a secret weak spot for white women in power. A lot of us minorities do, apparently.

This kid decided to put a four second clip of Psycho Sid powerbombing Sheiky through a table, except they were his action figures. Honestly, I was checking out the air conditioner in the back and trying to figure out if that was instead MY current AC since mine has the green analog thingy, too. And the kid is watching wrestling because you hear Michael Cole talking about that gassed-up Mexican, Chavo Guerrero. Wouldn't it be great if the television was on something completely different like an episode of "Mad About You" or maybe "Busty Cops 2"? "Busty Cops 2" is a favorite in my household; if you have Showtime on Demand, then you should check it out. I've watched five minutes so far, but it definitely has some acting ability that is truly amazing. The performances are on a level that puts the casts of "Bridges of Madison Country", "Waiting" and "Van Wilder 2: Rise of Taj" to shame.

Also, kinda fucked up is that after the action-figure powerbomb, the kid leaves the toys in that position, so now Sid's actually sucking Sheik off. Maybe that's sexual assault since Sheik got powerbombed first?


Thursday, September 13, 2007

Sheik Buys Crack...AND MORE

Sheik's buying drugs makes the internet. What do you think about this being filmed? It's not like it's being filmed for A&E Intervention, you know. This is strictly for the profit of the person who is filming it. It's pretty sad, but what can you do other than wince and say, "well, I hope that I'm not as fucked up when I'm in my late sixties". Sheik gets Eric Simms to call his friendly drug dealer in New Jersey. The guy doesn't want to come to their shitty hotel room, but Eric refuses to drive and pick it up. Sheik has a 100 dollars that he wants to spend on crack and marijuana. Damn, 40 dollars of weed for a week is good enough for me, but Sheik's habit appears to be rather excessive and expensive. Oh well! Eric tells Sheik to be quiet while he tries to reason with the dealer. The drug dealer hangs up in the end after Sheik starts ranting and raving after he hears that he won't get his drugs tonight.

This is the meeting between Hulk and Sheik a few months ago. Everything's going great and Hogan says he wants Sheik's number. Of course, Hogan being Hogan, he doesn't call back our hero which is some bullshit. I know there are a lot of Hogan lovers out there, but damn, your man is real shady. He can't even call the legend!? Ridiculous. Sheik's jacket is awesome, but can't someone tell him that dirty Atlanta Olympics winter cap looks horrible? Where's Tim Gunn to give Sheik some fashion advice?

I downloaded this a couple days ago and it's pretty good. I like his first album better, but Kanye has some good beats here. Just delete the songs with that faggot Mos Def and the lead singer of Coldplay. I like Coldplay but if it's gonna be him and Kanye, then it is just too much faggotry for one track. Otherwise, everything's just pretty good.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Happy Belated Birthday To Our Hero, I am lazy, Other bullshit

Sup, guys. I've been mad lazy since I would rather download music and look at midget porn than blog sometimes. Just like when you people would rather chat with old men posing as 13-year-old girls than hit up my blog. It's all good. I can't hate on people who have made their mind up about things. Life's worth living and I respect life, you know.

Anyway, Sheik turned 65 a few days ago. It's a beautiful thing. Dude is like a surrogate uncle to me; the one cool dude in your family that you can drink beers with and smoke a joint or two with, but gotta leave before he gets agity and starts desiring an eightball. It's a miracle that he's lasted this long and I hope he lives for a long time. My homie that I worked with for 3 years jumped out of a window here at work a few months ago and he was only 64. So you gotta appreciate the shit that you've got in front of you; money, fame, all the other bullshit can't do it for me. As long as I got my family, friends and girl, then I'm good, you know. So yeah, happy birthday, my nigga. Hope you are acting crazy for another 65 years, bro.

I am too lazy to review videos now. I'll do it tomorrow morning when I eschew playing low-stakes internet poker in favor of placating my wonderful audience.

Email me at, fags.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

66 Posts and Counting

I think it's a miracle that I've blogged for this long. Maybe I should step back and revel in my amazing persistance when it comes to blogging and avoiding doing a minor part of my job description in favor of doing this shit instead. Or maybe I should cry myself to sleep at night and try not to remember how awesome it was when Ms. Edwards told us in Calculus [or whatever] that she got robbed while walking through the halls of our high school. Fuck that bitch. Ms. Edwards, if you're reading this, then I'd like to let you know that you are a cunt who sucked at teaching. Thanks for passing me though, twat!

These are some highlights, some lowlights and some awkward moments in that interview shot by that dude who was accused of, like, banging little boys off the internet. You know I can't live that down. Anyways, when someone supposedly decides to download the audio of this interview, you do lose some of the luster so getting to see his facial reactions is helpful. Though it is odd when you see his fascination with pushing his chair closer and closer to the camera. Feinstein not being to read the medal is funny, but it seems like the only Jew who reads it properly is Eric Simms. I wonder if the Jewish blogging contingent is going to come after me.

If they do, then I'll be forced to recite anti-Semetic rhetoric that I learned from my elders during those madrassah-like sessions at that secret place with the jungle gyms that look suspciously like the shitty rides that were at the cement "park" two blocks away from me.

Thinking about this got me going through old photobooks trying to find my past. I've decided to put this only picture up to show all you people out there that wonder how awesome my childhood was...


Tuesday, September 4, 2007


I spent the weekend doing not a whole lot other than chilling with the girlfriend and bullshitting with family. Rented a bunch of movies at Blockbuster. Blades of Glory was too gay, Black Snake Moan was great and Disturbia was pretty good. Shia LeBouf may be the next Tom Cruise. I'm just looking for the next Steve Buscemi. Christina Ricci played a convincing hoe, unless you're an avid fan of Crack Whore Confessions or whatever.

The jokes write themselves...

"We are very proud to bring you shoots with the biggest names in wrestling. In order to do so, we need to make a profit so we can put it back into our next big shoot interview. We want to thank our many loyal fans that have reported people selling RF VIDEO shoots without our permission over the last few days. We are well aware of some of the sites out there that already have plans on selling the new shoots that we just filmed last week. RF VIDEO will take legal action on any persons that sell our shoots without our permission. We have never been more serious about this issue. Thanks for all of your help and if you do report anyone your name will be kept confidential. You can email us at"

Dude let the video roll when Eddie Guerrero teared up while talking about Art Barr. You're not exactly robbing the church.

This is from the internet and Sheik is in an ugly motel room that looks like it's been used for aging husbands looking to get pissed on by prostitutes that just escaped Adam Bettenhausen's basement. Like couldn't these jackasses actually film these at an actual studio or something? Shoot interviews are really a significant step above apartment wrestling videos, but still, the creepiness factor is still in play. Sheik talks about doing coke with Shawn Michaels. Shawn is better than Sheik's wife. They were like Elvis Presley and doing medicine a-to-the-z. Gotta love it.