Tuesday, August 7, 2007

A New Day: More Howard Clips, Thoughts of Harley, Whatever Else is Out There

Our Hero has arrived on Howard's show and he seems ready to steal the show. He's just a ball of energy as he walks through the halls of the radio station's office. Sheik is already yelling that Bubba the Love Sponge and Artie need to not fuck with him, I don't have nearly that kind of energy unless I've drank a lot of alcohol. He meets Bababooey and the meeting turns out alright. He asks about Robin and we find out that she's lost 30 pounds in 25 days or something. Sheik seems so happy to be on the show. Beats doing a Dan Miloni shoot for peanuts. Sheik meets Howard and shows him the godl medal. Howard talks about seeing the Sheik with his grandfather, Sol, in Tampa, Florida. I hear lots of Jews live in Florida. This is definitely the meeting of two legends. Sheik talks about Vince McMahon and how he's not gonna kiss his ass like Steve Regal. Damn, right. I still can't believe that Regal did that. That's when you know that wrestling has gone too far. Assplay in wrestling may intrigue the gays, but come on, yo. Anyhow, Sheik also rants about Hogan saying "I owe you one" while doing nothing for him. You tell 'em, Howard. Throughout this whole clip, Sheik is sober and insane and appears to have a heart of gold.

This is the full version of the Sheik vs. Sheik Jr. rant. It's beautiful. Sheik blames Duggan for his arrest. Probably because Jim was driving the car and was drinking a can of beer at the time. Howard just keeps egging on Sheiky Baby. Artie quietly comes back into the studio like nothing ever happened, but Sheik appears to understand what's going on. The exchange with Artie is also great as Sheik caught on that it was Artie all along. Sheik threatens to fuck Artie in the ass, even if he is fat. Also, Sheik says that assfucking is against Islam, but he could just break his back. I accidentally typed "break his ass", but um, that's also possible.

Oh my God. So Howard gets the fake Warrior and Macho Man on. Fake Warrior really did suck, but fake Macho put his dick in a photograph of the Sheik. Sheik gets fired up really quickly, but the look on his face is hilarious when the camera does the close-up on the Iron Sheik picture with cock. Fake Macho had a lot more comebacks that are too racially insensitive to put into words. I don't know how long this clip will stay on youtube, but it is awesome. Sheik talks about being broke. Sheik is also kinda pissed at Vince McMahon for not helping him out now that he's old and broken down. He should've sent him money or given him another manager role. You could've paired up Sheik with Head Cheese. Or Dan Severn! Sheik talks about Moolah and kicking her out of Valentine's car. He says that he'd never fuck her since she is ugly and all. Sheik breathing heavily is great. Howard has just the remedy for Sheik's troubles...Anal Ring Toss for $2,500!

All these Howard clips are AWESOME. WATCH THEM ALL.

Sheik talks about guys in wrestling, but with a respectful tone. See, from what I've watched and heard, Sheik's opinions on most wrestlers don't really change unless it's a guy like Hogan, who was an influential dude. Sheiky rode with his old crew and like a lot of people, is loyal to the boys that he did the medicine with. Interesting that he says that he took down Harley Race. Even Sheik says that Harley was one of the toughest guys out there.

And now, some closing thoughts...

So you've come here to watch videos and laugh out loud. I know that it's true, but I like to just talk shit, too. You stay here for the videos while scrolling through mind-numbing amounts of text. Write off my opinions because you're too tired to read. Well, people wrote off Sheiky Baby, too. Like WCW.

According to Jim Cornette, he was so bad as a job guy during his last run there, that he got sent home. Pretty awesome that Sheik got another contract after his contract accidentally rolled over for another year. I'd like to follow Sheik's model in that if I can not be seen or heard, then maybe they'll forget about me and continue to pay me for working all so diligently on this here blog, then on the big pile of nothing that I currently do.

Maybe you can follow the Iron Sheik model. If it can work for hilarious individuals like Sheiky Baby, Lanny Poffo and, um, probably Ice Train, then, shit, it can work for you.

You don't sit Sheiky at home for months on end. Even if he didn't feel like taking bumps from reckless Power Plant trainees, the geniuses at CNN Tower could have given him a talk show segment where he could have expounded on his views of life, liberty and love. Also, the crack. It took over a decade longer for people to understand that while his wrestling ability has long since dissipated, he's still a hell of a personality. The videos prove it.

This looks so horrible and gay. No, really, it does. I hate wrestling fans.

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