What's up, folks? It's been a couple of days and I still can't believe that no one has leaked the Sheik's appearance on the fucking Howard Stern show yet. Where are all the raging fans out there that are supposed to hook me up with mp3s of his appearances, bootleg DVDs produced by accused pedophiles and some good medicine. The only people that have really helped me so far are the following people:
Everybody that I have linked to.
The fuckin' DOI.
Jay-P from Australia.
All my family and friends that have banded together to support this.
But again: WHERE ARE YOU?????
Hook a brother up, man. I provide tremendous recaps of everything while at work and all you've gotta do is scroll through this shit. Just please don't send the Iron Sheik Youtube Review any crack. I'd have to flush it down the toilet or send it to some troll on the internet.
Here's the link that I've put up for the debut of the Sheik: http://www.sendspace.com/file/ddzgh9
Now, I shall recap it since this will be awesome. It has to be awesome.
First off, I wanna say that Sheik's theme song for his show is GREAT. It starts off with the Muslim prayers that I tried to drown out of my head back when I was living with my parents and used to irregularly go to the mosque. Then you can hear the Fink announcing the Sheik. How can this go wrong? IT CAN'T, THAT'S WHY.
Shuli, some dude who works on the Stern show, is the co-host and he is surprisingly less-annoying than anything of the people that have been involved with Sheik in one form or another. I almost expect this guy to either be bald or be reveling in full Hasidic garb. Oh yeah, Eric Simms is in the house, as well.
Sheik is happy to be here. He is glad to be on Howard One Hundred and One Radio Station. Shuli wants this show to cut away from all the screaming and yelling. He finds Sheik to be an interesting guy. Shuli takes a call from a guy named Howard who gives much love to Sheik and says it's good to see a revival of his career. He asks Sheik what kind of performer he would be. Sheik says he'd be like Cena or Batista. He puts over the WWE, the young performers and also himself.
Shuli wants serious callers and doesn't want just Brian Blair shit. Some Jewish guy calls. Sheik loves the Jews and Muslims and doesn't wanna talk about religion and politics like Ahmadinejad. The Jew has a question and it is if he holds Vince responsible for the addiction of steroids in wrestling. Sheik compares himself to Angle, Gable and Abdullah Movahed. He says Vince has gotta do something and he misses Guerrero, Henning and Hawk. Sheik is not a doctor so he doesn't know what's going on. He begins to talk about missing Benoit. All Sheik wants to do is pray.
Shuli asks about Benoit. Sheik says that Benoit called him and that he saw Benoit and the Raw before he killed himself. He talks about Benoit training guys and says he is a neighbor of his in Fayetteville, Georgia, along with Orndorff and Regal. He says Benoit wanted him to come over to house since he was lonely. Apparently, they only lives 5 minutes away from each other. He thinks the doctor gave Benoit too much testorone or uppers or downers. Sheik's disgusted that Benoit roided up Daniel and killed him and his wife. He didn't ever think Benoit could ever do it. He's confused. Benoit broke Sheik's heart. He can't fucking forget about it. He says he can't forgive or forget Benoit for killing his wife and son. He says if Benoit was mad at himself, then he should've just been a man and killed himself. Sheik gets all wound up during this, as usual. What we can learn from this is that you shouldn't kill your kid.
Derek in Ohio is some old dude who claims to be a huge fan of Sheik, but really isn't. Sheik gets really angry and tells him to take a walk.
Some guy in Florida has a question. He's first complementing the Sheik for coming back into the limelight. Sheik thanks Stern, the Killers of Comedy, Bob Levy and Beetlejuice. Even though he is Persian, he gets along with Jews except that jabronie Eric Simms. He asks what his favorite match is and whether he will be on WWE again. Sheik says that his favorite match is his Bootcamp Match with Sgt. Slaughter. He puts over Slaughter! Another match is his title win over Bob Backlund. He puts over Backlund. And the third match is his loss to Hogan to drop the strap. He doesn't put over Hogan! I'm sure Hogan is crying himself to sleep with not being put over by Sheiky Baby.
He also says that he prefers to work with Levy and Stern, but if Vince calls him, then he's gotta speak to Simms first and then he'd go back to WWE. He puts over WWE and also brags about beating Vince in racquetball. He also puts over the McMahon family and talks about getting hugs and kisses from HHH and Steph. He has worked for three generations of the McMahon and loves them.
Another caller starts with a Muslim greeting and asks who was his favorite tag team partner and who sucks the biggest cock: Allah, Muhammad or Jesus. I'd go with Muhammad. Shuli wants Sheik to answer the first question and ignore the second. Sheik says his favorite partner was Nikolai. He says that outside the ring, Nikolai was great. He puts over Nikolai's usage of the Foreman grill and was a shrewd buyer of food. He respects Nikolai for not cheating his body, but he's got heat with him for the two dollars that he didn't give the wheelchair man. He is a jabronie Jew Russian Jew even after he booked him for Mister Makdavi. WHO IS MISTER MAKDAVI?!?!!? He puts over the wheelchair men in NYC, LA and Atlanta. He says that while he loves Nikolai, he says that he can't take all his money to the cemetary and NOT to be a cheap Jew son of a bitch!
A caller is a wrestler who is 6'1, 210 pounds. He wants some training tips. Sheik asks how old is he. The kid is 22. He says that as long as you are young and tall and that he should see if he should train 3 times a day all year round, can go to some Olympic wrestling school, watch his diet and pray to Jesus. INSHALLAH. He says if you can't make it in America, then you can't make it Bombay or Calcutta. You have everything here: good food and electricity, which he didn't even grow up with! Wow. He says Allah was behind him. He puts over the amateurs that he trained with, like Gholamreza Takhti.
Shuli is impressed with Sheik's advice. Sheik says swimming, Greco Roman and freestyle wrestling are the toughest sports in the Olympics. He respects Michael Jordan, but he needed 11 teammates in order to win the Gold medal. He confuses football with basketball. He respects Joe Namath and Terry Bradshaw, but even they know that wrestling is the toughest sport.
Shuli is happy and hopes Sheik is happy. The phone lines are lighting up. A caller asks how the injuries have affecting Sheik since he saw him on the Stern show. He says that the caller doesn't know what he's talking about, but he's been wrestling forever so he has a lot of damage. Shuli asks if he expected to live to 65 since he was a party animal back in the day. He says he's absolutely right. Apparently, Eric Simms tells everyone that Sheik is an animal partyman all night 24 hours 7 days a week and even if Sheik is very bad, Sheik is always training. He says that yes he is 65, but he needs to do something. He claims moderation, but Eric and Nikolai claim Sheik's moderation is 24 hours non-stop and is a world champion at A to the Z. He says that he is healthy and happy and loves his radio show.
TOM BRANDI calls him. Sheik puts over Brandi and calls him his Italian best friend and he gave his son his Olympic wrestling trunks. Brandi says he's a good guy and bad guy and that Sheik managed him when he was a Patriot. He said that he had to call in since Sheik's his best friend and wants him to knock them dead. He says forget about Hogan. Sheik says also forget about Warrior and all these other jabronie conmen. Shuli asks if people take advantage of him, but he knows better. He says Brandi is like family for him since he gave him a watch in exchange for his trunk. Brandi is like a son to Sheik as is the next caller...
BOB LEVY talks about how guys are getting pushed when they got like 3 moves. Sheik agrees about Hogan has like 3 moves. He says a grandmother can pretty much do that, too. Levy used to be a wrestle. His name used to be the Heartbreaker Bobby Slayer. He says Warrior only had 2 moves. Sheik talks about Warrior's shaking of the ropes. He hopes Vince books him against Warrior. He calls Warrior no-good and calls him a prostitute that everybody knew about, which made him lose face. He is angry at Simms for bringing him over to Warrior in the infamous slapping incident from a few months ago. "Ultimate Warrior, fuck you!!!"
Use the discount code SIRIUS to get a 30% discount of RF Video's Sheik DVD.
Some weird dude asks about the origins of the camel clutch. He asks the cameraman to zoom. He says that in the old country, they had camels and sheep. He says both him and the Original Sheik and Sabu used it. He calls them his cousin and nephew, originally.
Another guy calls and says that he met Sheik a month after 9/11. He asks if Sheik blames Luger for Miss Elizabeth's death. Sheik says that it's a tough decision. He said that Elizabeth left that jabronie Jew Randy Savage and moved to Georgia. He says he loves and misses Elizabeth. He puts over Lanny and Angelo Poffo, specifically bringing up Angelo's sit-up record. But Randy did not treat Elizabeth good. He says after Savage, Liz went to Luger. He says Luger was a good friend of his, but he used to go to his gym that he co-owned with Sting. He says that he's not sure, but he says everybody knows Luger was a gimmick man pretty boy. Even though he doesn't know, he says that if he finds out that Lex did damage to Elizabeth, then he'll beat the fuck out of him. He calls Elizabeth beautiful and say God Bless Elizabeth, Savage and Elizabeth's family.
Shuli asks for an Andre the Giant story. Sheik says that in wrestling, they have the midgets to the giants. He says giants are supposed to be a role model, a real babyface. He calls himself a heel. He says that when they'd go to London, Tokyo or whatever, he says Andre would play cards and that he'd come into the ring all fucked up. He says Andre could hurt you, but Sheik was a general in the ring. He repeats the Andre autograph story where he curses out a little kid. What a dickhead.
Shuli is having a good time with Sheik. He says 5 minutes before the show started, the phone lines were all full. Some caller whines about some guy pissing him off, but Sheik tells him to ignore the guy. And not to sell it!
A caller puts over Sheik's work in Georgia and how it's still classic. He says that while Levy says they don't need Sheik or whatever on the Killers of Comedy show. Sheik puts over Beetlejuice and doesn't mind if the guy shits his pants. Another guy calls with praises and how he feels about Bret Hart and his family. He says he wrestled in Calgary in 1973 and loves the family. Another guy says god bless the Iron Sheik and asked about being in TNA. He says that Angle and Jerry Jarrett are there, so if they need him, then he's there, but he's very happy working for Howard. Another guy asks who he has kept in touch with and asks who he'd like to wrestle if he was in the best shape. He says Cena, Angle and HHH. They ignored the first question!
Another guy asks about Fred Blassie. He says Mister Jafari helped meet him in Iran and also that he met Rikidozan with Blassie in 1960. Someone asks if he invented the camel crutch while trying to buttfuck Hogan while trying for the reacharound. Another guy calls about how everybody hated the Sheik and people threw shit in the ring. Sheik has a Piper story. They were working for Crockett and the Iranian people invited them for shish kebab and rice. So they went and afterwards, they got qualudes, uppers, downers, Percoset, "powder" and a grinder from this "doctor". Then they got pulled over and he had to pay off the cop $500 in order to not get arrested. Sheik puts over Howard one last time and the show is over!!!!