The Camel Clutch

This move might be really awesome because Our Hero did it and other people [or as every black person seems to call them "niggas"] that also get respect like Gori Guerrero and the Original Sheik and the homie, Sgt. Slaughter.

But you've gotta face facts sometimes. Sheik even admitted it when made those threats against Brian Blair. I know it's hard to come to terms with this. Sleepless nights, huh? Unable to grasp the fact even after all these long and cruel months? Did you lack of hunger turn into a full-fledged protest? It's okay, but I understand. But let's get through the cold, hard facts.

The camel clutch is really fucking gay.

But it definitely looks like it hurts. Like, damn, you could really hurt someone's back doing it. Even if Sheik really did put Jim Brunzell in the clutch, I'm sure he's fantasized about Brian Blair and his ass as many times as he's said it on video. That definitely seems kinda scary.

Apparently, the Japanese have taken advantage of this rather uncomfortable position by flipping the script in almost-pornographic nature. Maybe they invented apartment wrestling, too. Maybe that's where legendary slant-eyed women like, um, that scary lady from GLOW who also did that one episode of Married with Children got trained. I don't know her name but I'm sure some creepy Asian-women-fighting enthusiast will tell me who she is in 17 months.

So I've decided to make a drawing in order for this blog's vastly wrestling-intelligent [and real-world-weary] audience to tell me who this is. Please, look at this with an open mind because I tried my best. Thanks!



Anyways, here's some Japanese women doing the camel clutch. Not Safe For Wife. And it is really strange, too.



When Gori Guerrero created this move, did he ever think that bikini-clad and no-ass-having psuedo-pornstars with unusually-positioned eyes would be performing it for the pleasure of dudes who like seeing women uncomfortably grab onto each other? I don't know, but I think he should have been given at least a quarter for everytime someone has performs it. Even if it's for creepy Japanese apartment wrestling aficionados.

Where do we go from here?

THIS JUST IN: Sheik is pissed off at Dan Miloni. No, I refuse to call him by his real last name. As far as I am concerned, he is Dan Miloni. How the fuck are you going to treat the legend like this? Fuck Miloni and that jew jabronie, Doctor Von Johnson. How are you going to not invite the legend into Applebee's? This is completely unfair.



But what DID Sheiky Baby eat AT Applebee's??? This is what I'd like to know. Does he just drink beers, eat Snickers bars and possibly eat Ramen noodles. Who knows? It's one of life's eternal questions, I guess. Unfortunate, isn't it? We've uncovered all the tales that Sheiky has regaled about Takhti, Volkoff and Russian figure skaters, but we haven't figured this out just yet. Too bad he couldn't run down his preferences when it comes to ordering at Applebee's.



He loved the Original Sheik and Sabu. Apparently, some people are getting all up in arms because he called them "cousin" and "nephew", respectively. It's really just an Islamic/cultural thing that even I have used as an obvious brown man talking about close family friends. Listening to this makes me know Sheiky Baby is a true Brother, not in the Islamic sense, but just the cultural sense. Just like the Jihadi vendors that give me my lunch every afternoon and not like the Pakistani assholes on midtown Manhattan that will charge you over $2.95 for a bag of chips and a Diet Coke. I know, man.

And finally, a few words from PG-13: