Start Your Week Off With Sheik

Please, folks: don't talk when the Iron Sheik is talking. It's something that I've had to learn to deal with all my life. Someone's always gotta fucking butt in my conversations and I just let it slide. But Sheiky Baby? No way. He's not going to let you get away with anything if you start having a side conversation when he's the one that's supposed to get the camera time. It's awfully rude, you know? Mrs. Ramirez had a banner in my second grade class saying, "SILENCE IS GOLDEN". Learn, assholes.



This is some fat kid impersonating the Iron Sheik while reviewing TNA's Hard Justice. I think this is over 8 minutes of a waste of your time, but it's not even a hilarious waste of time. Like, dude, if you're gonna entertain me, then please shave your head and grow a custom Iranian moustache. No, I didn't watch all of this either. This kid really needs a girlfriend. Or needs to find some better porn to look at, if only so that it will distract him from making any more videos. The reason why I put shit like this up to review is only because these people intrigue me. The question that always pops into my head when I hear about these internet celebrities is, "what drives people to want to do this in front of a camera?" I can come up with a lot of answers, but I don't think they're good enough to satisfy my question.

What a week it's been, huh?

Yeah, the Sheik fans have been crazy since the Stern videos have leaked. Manican did it again. If anyone gets a video of that anal ring toss, then please find a place to put it up and I'll put a link to it here. Come on, the memories of seeing Our Hero trying in vain to throw rings into a stick up a girl's ass just sounds too hilarious. It would certainly deserve many screen caps.

Listened to that Kevin Nash RF shoot. It's pretty good. Nash talks about his first car ride with Sheiky and how within a couple minutes, the Iranian antagonist is smoking a joint in the back of a van. They're going to the gym, along with Sid and Dutch Mantell, but Sheik has to stop to get a six-pack. The van gets to the gym, where the other wrestlers go to work out. Sheik walks in the gym, does 2 reps on the bench press at 135 and leaves. Tremendous.

People can say whatever they want. Sheik's always been nuts. But he's got a heart of gold for people that give him props and for girls that are willing to do the job for him. Beware that short-arm clothesline, ringrats.

One last thing before I start reviewing stuff: I'm working on doing something else that may be of interest to you hardcore Sheik fans. I want this blog to be more than just a video review blog, because I know that I can do more than that and I think people are intelligent enough to want a little diversity in their content. To the loyal readers, I'm gonna try to do things that would stray from the normal wrestling blog. Cool?



Sheik fails to cut a 15-second promo for Opie and Anthony. He doesn't really call him "Opium" but these guys are trying to be funny. The imitations aren't really great and the fake Farsi doesn't really intrigue me. Sheik may not be able to cut a short promo. Who really knows? This dude who is imitating isn't as good as that one dude on Youtube or even Artie Lange.

Anyways, it's been a crazy week. Hope there isn't another tornado in my neighborhood. PEACE.

Of Course, There's MORE Sheik on Howard Stern.

Fuck YES, the whole radio segment with Howard. No video on this one, but there's no way I can review this whole thing. Listen to it, though.



With every party, there's always one jackass that wants to ruin the night. Whether it means drinking too much, snorting way too much coke or just being a complete douche, these individuals do exist. In this case, it's some deejay named Bubba the Love Sponge. I know he's good friends with Hulk Hogan, which is the only reason that he's on Howard. Before Bubba came out, Sheik was optimistic, but didn't trust Bubba, So Bubba comes out and spits out some wrestling facts that he got from Wikipedia. He defends Hulk and Sheik gets pissed at him. Bubba challenges Sheik's Olympic claims, but Sheik reasons that Olympics and AAU are the same thing. Bubba claims he wrestled AAU at 225 pounds, but Sheik notes that Bubba is a fat ass, which is quite true. Sheik calls Bubba a Italian Jewish faggot or whatever. Don't get angry at me since trying to convert Sheiklish-to-English is a skill that takes years to master. Bubba says he could beat up Sheik right now, but Sheik doesn't seem fazed at all.

Bubba keeps calling Sheik a jobber since Vince Sr. told him to drop the belt. Around this time, they refer to Hulk as Terry. Bubba seems legit riled up, but I think it's just him trying to piggyback off the Sheik's popularity while continuing to ride Hogan's coattails. I wonder how much Bubba got paid to do that show in Memphis that had the Hulk/Big Show main event. Bubba keeps calling Sheik "kid" which is disgusting. I don't call any elders "kid".

Howard brings out AJ, the porn star who does Anal Ring Toss at bachelor parties. Sheik is loving it right now. Where's Sheik's cold beer, damn it. Sheik needs money since he's broke.

Then we have the "Killer Bees" cutting promos on the Sheik. Howard says they just signed a deal with the WWE. Sheik believes that Jim Brunzell has betrayed him, which is just ridiculous. Both Bees are wearing masks and Sheik is freaking out about it. One Bee says his moustache smells like Nikolai Volkoff's asshole. This segment didn't last too long as Howard wanted Sheik to settle down.

Howard plugs Sheik's stuff and asks Vince McMahon to bring the Sheik back. Sheik says Vince forgot about and he broke Sheik's heart. Bubba says Blair really isn't gay and needs to stop it. Sheik says "really" and Bubba confirms it. Sheik asks about Warrior and Bubba says "well, you might have something there..."

We get a little clip of Sheik giving excuses as to why his Anal Ring Tossing isn't up to par. He's not Michael Jordan or Michael Jackson.

Once Again, Mondays Mean Something

A weekend spent not doing a whole lot, which was great. Sometimes, you just need to sit back and do nothing. The joy of staring at your television is like none other. Especially when you're waiting for that huge check to come due to how financially successful your blog is coming around. Yep, big things are planned. Hopefully I can quit the day-job and just blog from this yacht that I've been yearning to get a hold of. It's not in my price range yet, so people, please click the ad on the bottom left hand corner of this page. I'm beggin' ya!



This is from Howard TV and fuck yeah, this is great. Artie Lange as Iron Sheik Jr. rants and raves about how he's the real Iron Sheik and has gotten two million dollars from Vince McMahon. At first, Sheik gets really angry but I think a part of him is like, "wow, this is pretty fun" while almost deciding to pull his cock out of his pants. Sheiky lets us all know he's got a "ten inch cock", which must really intice the ladies of Tehran. And the gays.

What I think really came out about this is Iron Sheik should get a radio show gig. Like if an untalented, roided up dude like Donny Bonaduce can become a radio talk show host, then why can't Sheiky Baby? I'd be willing to bet that a lot of legends look at Sheik and think, "damn it, all I had to do is to curse and scream in order to get people to care about me again???" A lot of people tend to look at the negative aspects of all this, but at least he's not doing what THIS legend has been reduced to participating in...



It's bad enough being a broken down wrestler who gets no benefits and is surviving on AARP and social security and the occaisonal autograph signing, but Greg the Hammer Valentine is doing BACKYARD SHOWS. People can cry all they want about how Sheik is being exploited blah blah blah, but he's gotta be making some decent money for getting his face out there. And he doesn't have to take a single bump in order to make a buck, too. My point is that I think it's fucking sad that Greg the Hammer is still out there perfoming with a bunch of backyarders and that if he had the opportunity to get the publicity/notoriety that Sheiky Baby is getting, then, hell, maybe he would. Hammer has gotta be a little jealous of Sheik's $2,500 score on Howard's Anal Ring Toss.

At least Hammer didn't have to bump, but, really, what the hell?



Sheik tells us about how he hated being an opening-match guy in the AWA. He used his real name (Khosrow Vaziri), which really didn't get over with the marks in the Midwest. I know, shocking. So he had a meeting with Verne Gagne and his wife, Mary, at some French restaurant, about it. Apparently, it was Mary who thought of the new name for Our Hero. Sheik can't say the word "Wong", which doesn't surprise me. I still have a hard time pronouncing Chinese names, too.

We're Not Really Inspired

For the last few months here at Iron Sheik Youtube Review, we've promised a lot of ridiculous reviews of ridiculous videos. Ridiculous Iron Sheik videos.

Why? Because the world didn't need them. I mean, it's pretty obvious that the internet is full of self-important websites purporting to cover a subject in a thoughtful and passionate way. But I tend to think there are too many humor websites on the internet.

People try their hardest to be funny and shit, but I think they're probably straining to keep up with a tone that they might have long passed with either a higher demand for content or, usually, just being bored with posting things to an audience that is just gonna point-and-click at something else, probably into that secret folder on their hard drive with the trannie porn. The one that their mom doesn't know about. Okay, maybe their dad does.



Shemale videos aside, people are a fickle bunch, but it's been well over a year since the first insane Sheik video hit the net and, here we are, still talking about him. The guy's going to be on Howard Stern soon, while Ric Flair sulks after taking another shitty backdrop from some nervous rookie. Unbelievable.



Seriously, this dude gave the best Sheik impression ever all-time all my life. Even though he started laughing because this is all incredibly retarded, he still got all the catchphrases correct, maintained broken English and added in all those little phrases about Newman, Regis Philbin, black brothers and all the other Jews. This kid must have a lot of time, but I think he's got a huge future in Sheik impersonations. The outfit was also perfect and I have only kind things to say about his moustache. Maybe he does weddings?



Thanks to Sean the Mic from Declaration of Independents for providing a link to this fucked-up blog. Hope you new readers stick around and tell your fucking parents or guidance counselors or other depraved social outcast buddies about this, but if you don't, I won't feel too bad. It would be a shame to get depressed that someone decided to jerk off to disturbing porno over watching insane Sheik videos and reading my commentary.

Burqas, Broads and Blacks

This black brother decides that the world needs to hear him do an Iron Sheik impersonation. Does he realize that he has disgraced the Iranian people with his piss-poor version of our favorite speaker of Farsi? Probably not. But he can definitely use this to hook up with females that also like watching Iron Sheik videos. Is there an actual market? Like maybe a relationship website based on Iron Sheik going crazy and the various videos bringing together men and women, young and old. Romance over discussing just how great opening-match wrestler Khosrow Vaziri did as a babyface working for Verne Gagne's AAU doesn't seem too implausible. (Okay, maybe it does.)

On a scale of 1-10 as far as impersonations go, I give this maybe a 3, but I am giving a bonus because of the Miloni dude. Yeah, that wasn't so bad.



So we finally get to hear the awesome story of the Iron Sheik short-arming some ringrat of Marty Jannetty's and getting stretchered out of the hotel. Yeah, it's all good because he gave her different kinds of medicine: painkillers, cocaine and beer, but she refused to do the job. How dare she refuse to put our beloved hero during his time of sexual need! I actually think that second sentence will upset a feminist or someone who takes the internet too seriously. Yeah, let's see if Gloria Allred decides to e-mail me at a frivolous pace. I'd actually welcome it so I can repost them here and have a good laugh.



Honestly, I do believe that the usage of the short-arm-clothesline on some poor rat was unnecessary. Couldn't he have gotten his own whore to snort, shoot and fuck on his own? I'd doubt he'd actually have done it to a burqa-wearing Iranian women. Everytime I pass by one of them, I feel that black bedsheet that they wear over their head is some amazing forcefield that will just get weird glances from weirded-out people like myself. Considering that he wants to have sex with Rosie O'Donnell, I wouldn't be shocked if he didn't short-arm-clothesline her, either. However, there's reason to believe that he would leg-dive that lesbian if she refused his sexual advances.

The First of Many Renditions to Come

This young man seems drunk off his ass while doing his rendition of our favorite video of all time, all my life. On a scale of 1-10, this was a 6. I know there will be controversy involving why this video was placed, bbecause, yeah, this website is all about the Iron Sheik on Youtube. However, the affect that the guy has on the culture of drunken douchebags and assorted drug-addled counter-culture is also part of this, as far as how I have categorized it in my mind. I don't just want to celebrate Sheik, but the followers and imitators, even if it means listening to their lackluster versions of one man's meaningful rant. Well, meaningful to him.