Fridaze

Damn it, it's Friday alright and Balls Mahoney still has a job. There must be a God. Or Allah. Or Zoroastran. Whatever, it's amazing. The weekend is upon us as I sit here typing away on this iMac at work and slightly gazing at my pack of Marlboro smooths and bottle of Febreze Farbic Refresher Allergen Reducer. Hearing your co-workers actually doing work as you sit here trying to look busy as you hurriedly change windows when a pair of titties begins to pop up after scrolling through a thread clearly marked "NSFW" is always great. The day-to-day bullshit sucks, but this blog does help to make it go by a little faster.



Sheik hates Ric Flair. The Kurt Angle sweatshirt never gets old. Someone get him some Italian suits. Sheik is Armani would be a great improvement over his current wardrobe. Gays know how to dress like that Tim Gunn nigga. He takes shit too far. I dress in a shitty pair of jeans that I rock for weeks on end before I deem them dirty. Also, some kind of black tee shirt with a logo emblazoned on the front or some shirt that I bought from Old Navy. It doesn't sound like much, but I look a lot better than I did in high school. Adding 30 pounds to get me over 150 pounds didn't hurt either.

Anyhow, Sheik throws out allegations of Flair's drug usage. Decadurabolin! Testostorone! Damn, yo.

He also calls Linda McMahon beautiful, but he might have a secret weak spot for white women in power. A lot of us minorities do, apparently.



This kid decided to put a four second clip of Psycho Sid powerbombing Sheiky through a table, except they were his action figures. Honestly, I was checking out the air conditioner in the back and trying to figure out if that was instead MY current AC since mine has the green analog thingy, too. And the kid is watching wrestling because you hear Michael Cole talking about that gassed-up Mexican, Chavo Guerrero. Wouldn't it be great if the television was on something completely different like an episode of "Mad About You" or maybe "Busty Cops 2"? "Busty Cops 2" is a favorite in my household; if you have Showtime on Demand, then you should check it out. I've watched five minutes so far, but it definitely has some acting ability that is truly amazing. The performances are on a level that puts the casts of "Bridges of Madison Country", "Waiting" and "Van Wilder 2: Rise of Taj" to shame.

Also, kinda fucked up is that after the action-figure powerbomb, the kid leaves the toys in that position, so now Sid's actually sucking Sheik off. Maybe that's sexual assault since Sheik got powerbombed first?

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND.

No, I don't know either.

The week is going by splendidly. It's already Tuesday and I'm already yearning for a new line of work. Usually, the agony settles in around Wednesday or Thursday, but unfortunately, life has taken a turn for the mundane all too quickly. The only saving grace from yesterday was a wonderful meal at Uno's Pizzeria. Chicken broccoli fettucine is the shit and the one meal that can satiate the appetite of an amazing human being, such as myself.

Sheiky Baby was on Raw and got live mic time. I'm waiting a video on that shortly, but for now, let's look at some videos and comment and all that other shit.



This is the trailer for the Sheik documentary "From A to the Z", which is coming soon from the Magen brothers. Sheik likes to drink alcohol and smoke crack. His wife does admit to taking his check, but says Sheik spent $30,000 with nothing physical to show for it. Sheik says he spent it "on the ground". Maybe he's talking about his daughter, Marissa's gravesite? We get to see Sheik make a trip to the cemetary and it's pretty sad. A special appearance by Paul Orndorff in flip-flops! He talks about killing a hog. Sheik walks weird on one foot. He also takes pictures with bored black children. His wife looks rather shrewish in this, comparable to Bret Hart's wife's performance in Wrestling With Shadows.



Sheiky Baby was on Dr. Keith Lipinski's radio show. Is he really a doctor anyway? I don't know. Joey Eastman of Totally Tool Wrestling is also on this. Sheik rants on Kramer. He is going to give that guy a warning. Sheik has a lot of love in his heart and he's got mad love for Muhammad Ali and Michael Jordan. He doesn't know if Ali is okay. Sheik thinks Bruno Sammartino should be in the Hall of Fame since he sold out Madison Square Garden more than anybody else. Sheik talks about the Von Erichs and claims he trained them. He thinks Kevin should be in the Hall. He talks about Warrior's gay past, but I guess he doesn't think he should be there. God bless Ed Farhat, the original Sheik, but he didn't speak Arabic since his father and mother were from Syria. Sheik's got mad love for Ed Farhat and thinks he should be in the Hall. Sheik does think Flair should be in the Hall since he's a good wrestler and talker. Sheik talks about Flair and says him or Brunzell or Patera couldn't handle him. He talks about the training camp days and says he was the toughest. He says Flair isn't in his class.

We're Not Really Inspired

For the last few months here at Iron Sheik Youtube Review, we've promised a lot of ridiculous reviews of ridiculous videos. Ridiculous Iron Sheik videos.

Why? Because the world didn't need them. I mean, it's pretty obvious that the internet is full of self-important websites purporting to cover a subject in a thoughtful and passionate way. But I tend to think there are too many humor websites on the internet.

People try their hardest to be funny and shit, but I think they're probably straining to keep up with a tone that they might have long passed with either a higher demand for content or, usually, just being bored with posting things to an audience that is just gonna point-and-click at something else, probably into that secret folder on their hard drive with the trannie porn. The one that their mom doesn't know about. Okay, maybe their dad does.



Shemale videos aside, people are a fickle bunch, but it's been well over a year since the first insane Sheik video hit the net and, here we are, still talking about him. The guy's going to be on Howard Stern soon, while Ric Flair sulks after taking another shitty backdrop from some nervous rookie. Unbelievable.



Seriously, this dude gave the best Sheik impression ever all-time all my life. Even though he started laughing because this is all incredibly retarded, he still got all the catchphrases correct, maintained broken English and added in all those little phrases about Newman, Regis Philbin, black brothers and all the other Jews. This kid must have a lot of time, but I think he's got a huge future in Sheik impersonations. The outfit was also perfect and I have only kind things to say about his moustache. Maybe he does weddings?



Thanks to Sean the Mic from Declaration of Independents for providing a link to this fucked-up blog. Hope you new readers stick around and tell your fucking parents or guidance counselors or other depraved social outcast buddies about this, but if you don't, I won't feel too bad. It would be a shame to get depressed that someone decided to jerk off to disturbing porno over watching insane Sheik videos and reading my commentary.

Money Talk, Money Walk

Sheik shooting on that medicine man, Ric Flair. Gotta love it. Fuck that asshole, Billy Robinson, for trying to break Sheiky Baby's leg. Sheik not liking bullshitters like Flair. Gotta love it. I hope he continues to shoot on these assholes. As Flair tries to get some kinda love on Howard Stern [see that episode with Chris Kanyon, a new gay Greek man from Astoria, Queens], Sheiky Baby is getting love from that Jew. The world works in mysterious ways, I'm telling you.



Bahahahaha "no comment". Elizabeth is awesome. Too bad she's dead, too. Dead wrestlers are a trend that I don't see ending. Nice to see guys are doing their part to end it. Oh, wait...





I like how Sheik is smart enough to see through Ted's religious gimmick. Come on, how the hell is this holier-than-thou guy going to take a job with Vince after shitting on him and his television shows repeatedly? It's not like they didn't have blatently exploitative stuff on their shows while he was an agent, anyway. It's not real hard to notice that most of these wrestlers are the biggest bullshit cons out there and if it isn't hard for a cracked-out broken down wrestler to figure it out, then maybe those idiots in his congregation need to start figuring it out, too.

Actually, maybe they shouldn't. Dibiase has perfected the art of the work without taking any bumps with this religious crap. Although it's pretty deplorable, I like to see that he's using his prior job skills in his new career path.



Piper being Sheik's medicine man is tremendous. He's got a lot of love for guys that he did a lot of drugs with, but I can see why. You're on the road for 80-some-odd days straight, so those bonds are gonna be tight, regardless. Fuck Andre, peace to all the medicine men.



I'm pretty sure Lorraine Bracco was a lot hotter on the Sopranos than in this movie.